When you fall in love when you’re in your forties

Be honest about your past will help you maintain a healthy relationship

Frank B., February 27 - 2020

The past sometimes creeps in unwantingly when you’re falling in love after you have been in a significant serious relationship. Sometimes your children bring up memories, or conversations might steer towards your past and bring up feelings you’ve shared with your previous partner. It doesn’t need to be uncomfortable, as long as you are clear of your motives regarding these.

My partner and I matched and met when he was 49 and me being 43. We both have lived vibrant lives prior to our relationship and we’d tell each other stories that would bring up tears, bouts of laughter and feelings of resentment or joy – all awhile sharing our past. In order for us to share, we agreed to revisit our past, to show each other what makes us who we are now.

It all has to do with circumstance. Since we have mutual friends that overlap on any given occasion, weird situations might pop up out of the blue. To be comfortable towards each other, and our desire to be clear and not be embarrassed in certain situations, we decided to just share our thoughts together by being honest.

Honesty as a priority value
Sharing a love for life at a later stage also means that you engage with someone whom is in the know of what life has to offer. Your partner has lived a life prior to your past relationship and they have adapted to values that you now share together. By sharing your most inner thoughts and past memories, you also clear issues that might arise as in being second best. Clarity is what got you together in the first place, so never be afraid to revisit past events that you share with others from a previous life, it really matters to be open and clear about everything.

Now that we are married, we sometimes endulge in thoughts of what it would have been like if we would have met earlier in life. Since we both have children from previous relationships we reminisce on what our children would look like, if we’d had them together. Then I’m reminded to be be thankful for the matching and dating agency that brought us together in the first place. Would it not have been for them, I’d still be lost online and would still be waiting to find a date to meet in real life.

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